March 21, 2010

"Ranger Brad, I'm a scientist. I don't believe in anything."

The most anticipated weekend of the year so far - the 8th Annual Science Fiction Film Festival.  Basically, a bunch of students at my school gather inside of our Presentation Center and watch a bunch of (usually very bad) sci-fi movies for about 20 hours and cap off the festivities with a sci fi movie that is actually good.

Armageddon - Michael Bay tends to make terrible movies, and this is not an exception.  The fact that Billy-Bob Thornton is in this movie doesn't help either, because I hate him in every movie.  Even the ones that you can argue are "good."  The first movie is always when the crowd is at its largest, so this one was fun to watch anyway.  Especially since the term "space dementia," which appeared in this movie, became a meme for the rest of the night.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra - This is, quite simply, the most amazing movie ever made.  Ever.  I thought at first that it was a real movie, but it is actually a more recent film lampooning the extremely-low-budget B-movies of the 1950s, and it does it extremely well.  It's also the most quotable movie of the night. (see: title)  There is a plot, but it is so ridiculous that there is no point in me trying to describe it to you.  This is in line with Ralph Bakshi's Wizards as far as non-quality epic filmmaking goes. 

Frequency - Dennis Quaid was in it, but I didn't watch this one for the most part.

Starship Troopers - This movie I had already seen, and appreciated it about as much as I had the first time.  From the weirdly unnecessary goriness and excessive death (which made for lots of applause) to Neil Patrick Harris dressed up as a Nazi, this was another awesomely campy film that would contrast the snooze-fest of the next two movies.

Virtuality - This movie was apparently a super-long pilot for a TV-series that Fox never picked up for good reasons.  It takes place inside of a spaceship headed for another star system, looking for a new planet hospitable for humankind.  Unfortunately, there are complications, such as a HAL 9000-like being inside of their computer which takes control of their airlock and kills the captain (this was actually a somewhat clever plot twist).  The title comes from the fact that they rely on a virtual-reality program that starts running crazy - in one of the most hilarious moments in the film, Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl gets raped inside of her dream world by this creeper guy (who I guess is the evil computer manifestation) that shoots other people inside of their dream world.  Many jokes about "space rape" and "space AIDS" ensued.

Lost in Space - This movie is a remake of the TV show.  It was so bad that it wasn't even funny, and not worth talking about.  I slept through this one for a little bit.

The Black Hole - Judd Nelson is a physicist plagued by the fact that his ex-wife stole his daughter from him who has to stop the Earth from being sucked into a black hole created in the basement of a particle accelerator laboratory where he works.  Co-starring is a semi-attractive blonde coworker who wears fake glasses in an attempt to look intelligent, and an alien-like being made of electricity that kills everybody by punching them in the face on a mission to gobble up all the energy from the St. Louis power grid (which makes the black hole get bigger!).  This movie features the most rigid acting I think I've ever seen in a movie.  Watch for the predictable kiss between Judd Nelson and quasi-hot blonde that was both bad and out-of-place.  Also, there is a brief moment of comic relief in which he forgets how to start a car.  Har har.

Explorers - Starring Ethan Hawke as a 5 year old and River Phoenix as a 5 year old who still has drug problems and another random kid who never got famous as another 5 year old.  This movie is badBad bad bad.  These kids find a magic bubble that takes them into space where they befriend what could potentially be the most unintentionally creepy aliens in cinematic history.  Along the way, they learn lessons such as "don't talk to strangers unless they are creepy aliens" and "It's okay to talk to your crush on the phone while you sit outside her bedroom... as long as you're in a giant bubble."

Jumper - This movie you've probably already seen - it came out pretty recently.  Basically, this kid can "jump" anywhere on Earth he wishes in the blink of an eye.  Starring Hayden Christensen as the good guy and Samuel L. Jackson as the bad guy, it's basically just Mace Windu getting fucked by Anakin all over again.

Moon - A very recent, and very good film.  Sam Rockwell is basically the only person in this movie - he's nearing the end of his 3-year tour-of-duty on the Moon in which he harvests the Helium-3 on the moon's surface that is a fantastic fusion fuel (I know this!  This is not a contrived plot point!).  There is no way to describe this plot without spoiling something, since the film is basically twist-after-twist goodness.  It's also very sad toward the end.  This movie was actually better than District 9, so now I'm sort of upset that this film didn't get the nomination for Best Picture while District 9 did.  Because it is actually that good.  Better than the Blind Side, especially.

This is the bunch of nerds who stayed for every single movie.
This year had a record turnout, too, which is worth mentioning.  This is my third year of attendance, and my second year of staying for the entire series of movies.  Weekend well spent.

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