I once believed that Senioritis was a completely manufactured ailment. Last night, I didn't even start my homework until approximately 1:00 a.m. I've discovered the joys of formspring.me and it's kept me up into the wee hours of the morning each night this week. Needless to say, Senioritis is a completely real and especially dangerous illness.
In completely unrelated news, the primary concern of late has been nonrecognition. You'll have to understand that I attend a school for academic elite. For many, this is a source of over-inflated egos. And with over-inflated egos comes desperation for recognition. I understand this, and I think that my understanding makes it a little less painful to watch most of my accomplishments in high school (which aren't accomplishments as much as they are things that I worked my ass off to finish) go unrecognized. I've never gotten recognition for anything until this point so I'm grateful that I'm getting medals and such. Things I've gotten in the past month: $30 from the regional chapter of the American Chemical Society from placing in the top 16 on the Competitive Exam in Southwest Michigan (I could have done better last year and gotten more money, but oh well) and a Merck Index; all the things I mentioned for band, a medal (and $12,000) from the National Merit Scholarship, some "platinum" cord for maintaining a GPA of 4.0+ through high school. These will be followed by a gigantic medal from KAMSC and a diploma from PC, and hopefully I'll get my eagle before I turn 18. Needless to say, I'm incredibly happy with my current circumstances, academically. Especially since I have about four days of school left.
There are some people, though, who can't handle the feelings of inadequacy that plague everyone who's ever attended a KAMSC awards ceremony. Or really any awards ceremony for that matter. I know people who skipped KAMSC's awards ceremony because they were afraid of being humiliated (even though they ended up winning considerably more than most). I know another person who ripped up another senior's expensive research project board out of anger that the student won a ton of awards. And on a more personal level, I felt ripped off at PC's thing, since I know I can kick the shit out of anyone who won a science award (they exclude KAMSC people from these), and they basically skipped over the National Merit Scholarship, the only thing I was really "recognized" for. So even I'm the victim of ego inflation. Damn.
If humility is a virtue, then we are all terrible people, redeemed only by the fact that almost everybody actually deserves to be recognized if they worked hard in high school, rather than just float on a cloud of natural intelligence - basically, what I did this last year. I really do think, though, that the very-smart-but-not-top-tier students should get recognized more, because everybody wants recognition. When you're excluded from normal school for being too smart and from awesome school for not being smart enough, it can damage your self-esteem a bit. For obvious reasons, more on this topic will come after graduation.
May 23, 2010
May 14, 2010
Eagling and Extras
Last weekend, I carried out my long-overdue eagle project. Yes, I am a boy scout. Somewhat redeemed by the fact that I actually intend to become an eagle scout. The demographics of the scouting activity in America follows a sort of trough of normalcy. Everybody does Cub Scouts, so that's when it's at its peak level of "normal." Then, all the "cool" kids quit and in the middle school days boy scouts ends up being a gathering of sort of odd, socially inept youths. I was one of them. But then once you get into the older days of boyhood some of the kids attain the rank of eagle, and these are usually the best people you can know. Because the whole "Eagle" thing basically says that you are of a certain caliber in life. That's why everybody who gets it is so proud of it, and why everybody shows respect for them. That's my justification for that. Plus the high adventures are really fun. One of the best times of my life was spent at Philmont Scout Ranch in Cimmaron, New Mexico.
Anyway, yeah, last weekend I did my project, which was removing garlic mustard from Bishop's Bog Preserve in my city. I had lots of trouble getting it approved for no comprehensible reason. The people in charge of my approval were obsessed with details - the only truly valid point they made was regarding how I would feed my volunteers. So basically, I just rambled more about everything (less concisely) and they agreed that it was much better. I'm over it.
So the last possible date that I could conceivably do the project was the Saturday, May 8th. It was about 45 degrees, wet, windy, and frigid. I was so afraid that people wouldn't show up, even though I invited about 90 people. Luckily I managed to acquire 20, even though I never had more than 15 at any given point in the day. We also didn't remove as much (in terms of acreage) as I had initially envisioned, but that's because it takes so long to remove the plant - it grows in huge, dense swaths in the woods. However, I'm not complaining about it, because we filled 88 gigantic bags full of weeds by the end of the day. This is a lot. I'm very thankful for everyone who helped me achieve my goal. Now I just have to write up my project, get a few recommendation letters, get a bunch of approval signatures, and finally acquire two extra merit badges before I can meet a Review Board and hopefully join the coveted rank of Eagle. (For the record, merit badges are the bane of my existence and also the reason why a lot of kids quit Boy Scouts. They are the biggest waste of time and effort imaginable. So don't judge me by them.)
In unrelated news, this week also marked my final experience in my school's band and in Legends Indoor Ensemble. (I still will call it "Legends Brass and Percussion Ensemble" though, because renaming something "Indoor" is one of the things I will never agree with. Winter Legends? Maybe. There are winter drumlines. But there aren't any "indoor drumlines") Each year the seniors inherit a letter of the alphabet and dress up according to a theme that begins with that letter. In 2007, the theme was Z for "zombies". In 2008, the theme was A for "AARP" and everybody dressed as old people. It was quite clever. In 2009, the theme was B for "bums". This year we had the letter C, and we decided to use a "circus" theme. Turns out it was a fantastic theme. I wore a Tyvec suit built for a person who is 7 feet tall (XXXXL, I shit you not), a big elastic belt, a far-too-small blue ski helmet with a red star on it, and a superheroesque black cape with a larger red star on it. I was the human cannonball. It was awesome. Some other costumes included three clowns, a strong man, a few magicians, fortune tellers, a ringleader, a lion tamer, a creepy balloon-animal-guy, a bearded lady, and a mime. There are more, I know it, but I can't remember them right now. Anyway, I played timpani for one piece called "Instinctive Travels" by Michael Markowski. It was okay. The stage we played on wasn't our own, so it sounded odd and I screwed up a little bit as a result. After that, Legends played. It wasn't a great performance, percussion-wise. Whatever. I was sort of expecting that. It was a pretty mediocre concert. Oh well.
The next day we had our band banquet. The seniors were supposed to do a rainbow with their shirt colors. I was supposed to be yellow. There isn't a fucking yellow shirt on this god damned Earth. So instead, I wore the tackiest shirt possible. (Nevermind the fact that I look like I'm about 11 years old)
Anyway, yeah, I managed to make the rainbow really awkward and broken. But I wore this one for the sole sake of being able to ACCOMMODATE ALL THE COLORS BECAUSE I'M SPECIAL.
I was recognized for three things that night, two of which I was expecting.
Overall, it was a decent week. I'm happy to be blogging again, however uninteresting the content/reflection is. I spent most of April and the early portion of this month pretty damn depressed (for reasons that aren't worth sharing until they're completely in the past) and it's good to know be able to find a place to semi-address it in a way that isn't a complete emotional exhibition.
Anyway, yeah, last weekend I did my project, which was removing garlic mustard from Bishop's Bog Preserve in my city. I had lots of trouble getting it approved for no comprehensible reason. The people in charge of my approval were obsessed with details - the only truly valid point they made was regarding how I would feed my volunteers. So basically, I just rambled more about everything (less concisely) and they agreed that it was much better. I'm over it.
So the last possible date that I could conceivably do the project was the Saturday, May 8th. It was about 45 degrees, wet, windy, and frigid. I was so afraid that people wouldn't show up, even though I invited about 90 people. Luckily I managed to acquire 20, even though I never had more than 15 at any given point in the day. We also didn't remove as much (in terms of acreage) as I had initially envisioned, but that's because it takes so long to remove the plant - it grows in huge, dense swaths in the woods. However, I'm not complaining about it, because we filled 88 gigantic bags full of weeds by the end of the day. This is a lot. I'm very thankful for everyone who helped me achieve my goal. Now I just have to write up my project, get a few recommendation letters, get a bunch of approval signatures, and finally acquire two extra merit badges before I can meet a Review Board and hopefully join the coveted rank of Eagle. (For the record, merit badges are the bane of my existence and also the reason why a lot of kids quit Boy Scouts. They are the biggest waste of time and effort imaginable. So don't judge me by them.)
In unrelated news, this week also marked my final experience in my school's band and in Legends Indoor Ensemble. (I still will call it "Legends Brass and Percussion Ensemble" though, because renaming something "Indoor" is one of the things I will never agree with. Winter Legends? Maybe. There are winter drumlines. But there aren't any "indoor drumlines") Each year the seniors inherit a letter of the alphabet and dress up according to a theme that begins with that letter. In 2007, the theme was Z for "zombies". In 2008, the theme was A for "AARP" and everybody dressed as old people. It was quite clever. In 2009, the theme was B for "bums". This year we had the letter C, and we decided to use a "circus" theme. Turns out it was a fantastic theme. I wore a Tyvec suit built for a person who is 7 feet tall (XXXXL, I shit you not), a big elastic belt, a far-too-small blue ski helmet with a red star on it, and a superheroesque black cape with a larger red star on it. I was the human cannonball. It was awesome. Some other costumes included three clowns, a strong man, a few magicians, fortune tellers, a ringleader, a lion tamer, a creepy balloon-animal-guy, a bearded lady, and a mime. There are more, I know it, but I can't remember them right now. Anyway, I played timpani for one piece called "Instinctive Travels" by Michael Markowski. It was okay. The stage we played on wasn't our own, so it sounded odd and I screwed up a little bit as a result. After that, Legends played. It wasn't a great performance, percussion-wise. Whatever. I was sort of expecting that. It was a pretty mediocre concert. Oh well.
The next day we had our band banquet. The seniors were supposed to do a rainbow with their shirt colors. I was supposed to be yellow. There isn't a fucking yellow shirt on this god damned Earth. So instead, I wore the tackiest shirt possible. (Nevermind the fact that I look like I'm about 11 years old)
I was recognized for three things that night, two of which I was expecting.
- Being a senior (expected)
- Being in a leadership position (expected)
- Being an "outstanding senior musician" (what?)
Overall, it was a decent week. I'm happy to be blogging again, however uninteresting the content/reflection is. I spent most of April and the early portion of this month pretty damn depressed (for reasons that aren't worth sharing until they're completely in the past) and it's good to know be able to find a place to semi-address it in a way that isn't a complete emotional exhibition.
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