Two Weeks of Melancholy and Euphoria

A lot has happened in the past two weeks - many of them exciting and worth noting.  This is going to be very diary-esque, but the lessons I've learned in the past two weeks of attempting to follow my life-improvement plan are surprisingly unexpected and significant.

The week prior to the last one was nothing out of the ordinary - a lot of schoolwork and not much happening socially because of it.  I was dreading Valentine's Day, because as I've mentioned before, my relationship with women had entered "Holy shit, that kid needs to get laid." territory, and I'd spent the entire week avoiding discussing what I would normally discuss here on my blog with anything with a vagina.  I spent a good deal of time with the PN crowd, as I've been doing more and more as the year goes on - first, going out to breakfast on an otherwise mundane Wednesday (if you groaned, I win), and then playing video games/scrabble/watching the Winter Olympics on Friday night.  This allowed me to gain access to the opportunity to attend one of the popular Valentine's Day events known as the "Anti-Valentine's Party" where single kids can mope together and be merry.  This, I thought, would make me feel a lot better.  Instead, I woke up ill on Valentine's Day and was sick the entire day.  I won't go into the details about the sickness, but there was no way I was going to be able to go out.  So instead I moped and watched what I consider to be an "uplifting" movie with romantic themes: 500 Days of Summer.  And I've seen that enough that I watched it with the writer/director/actor commentary on.  That's pretty pathetic.  I was approached by one of my friends about some relationship advice, which I gave out angrily and then proceeded to vent about how much my life sucks as of late.  Most of the horribleness of my life then and now was caused by my now-extreme lack of success with women, and my awareness of this issue was greatly enhanced by the fact that it was Valentine's Day.  Emotionally, I think that this was the weakest I've been since the winter/spring of my sophomore year of high school.  And perhaps for a few moments last year when I was under insurmountable levels of stress.

This was the point in time where I was told by another close friend that "things can only go up from here."  I believed him.  I was both right and wrong.

Things didn't get worse for me right off the bat - I told myself in the wee hours of the next morning that I was going to stick to the "plan" that I posted earlier, in order to improve my life.  However, life is a heartless bitch.  As my mood steadily improved, circumstances I was unaware of involving my immediate yet broken circle of friends worsened dramatically.  Due to the nature of the "drama" that went down, I'm going to refrain from delineating my opinion on the matter, but this next part is where things got interesting.

My friend, who I shall refer to as Red Shirt (which is not an homage to Star Trek, unfortunately) is moving to China as part of a study abroad program for several months, and two weeks prior to the publishing of this post, he experienced one of the ugliest breakups I've ever seen in my entire life.  (These two weeks had a subplot, too.)  The next week of drama remained fairly quiet, though there was much talk of the breakup, and I heard some nasty rumors about Red Shirt's ex-girlfriend which later ended up being true.  I discovered this upon attending Red Shirt's going-away party, which was one of the most fun parties I've been to in quite some time, despite being quite tame.  While me and some other cool people spent about an hour and a half on Chat Roulette - screaming in surprise at people jacking off on camera, and also at a guy who, after giving us the impression that he was normal, pulled down a ski mask and whipped out a gun at us - Red Shirt was taking members of the party upstairs and virtually interrogating them on their knowledge of the circumstances underlying his breakup.  This was when the truth was revealed, and now I find in an extreme moral dilemma involving who is trustworthy and who is worth keeping as a friend - but honestly, I don't care. 

The reason why I said that I was both right and wrong about life improving was because in spite of these dire straits of disloyalty and distrust, I managed to have one of the most exciting, enjoyable, and eventful weekends in a long, long time.  The night after Red Shirt's party, many of of the same people from the party regrouped (including myself) to attend a Harry Potter themed "Yule Ball", which was on par with most other school dances, but managed to be a blast because of the people I spent it with.

How does this relate to improving my life?  Not much, really.  I am still hopelessly doting over multiple women.  I finally received the lackluster new version of facebook.  I didn't work out at all.  I'm still quite unmotivated.  Musically, there isn't anything new to add.  And regarding friendships, some of them have become even more illegitimate.  But I feel great.  I realized that once you tell yourself that everything in life is going to stop bearing down on you, they will.  That's something that has been said so many times that there's not much of a point in repeating it - I guess that we just need to be reminded every once in a while.