February 5, 2010

LOST: The most alienating television program in history.

Perhaps besides Fox News, anyway.  This will bore the shit out of anyone who doesn't watch the show semi-regularly, so just stop reading if you don't.  Seriously, just stop.

I probably ought to clear this up before continuing any further: I've been busy all week - so much so that I've found little time to post about the epic premiere of the final season of one of my favorite television shows.  Since nobody reads this anyway, I'll neglect spoilers and just go ahead and rehash the events of the episode and then explain my theory as to what the hell is going on with the island and it's survivors.

At the end of Season 5, Juliet blew up an H-Bomb at the site of the island's powerful electromagnetic energy pocket (which enabled it to travel through time and space, crash planes, draw people to it, and possibly even prevent women from having babies) because Jack figured out from Daniel that doing so at the exact moment that the energy was unleashed in what was known as "The Incident" would rewrite the future so that the plane that brought them to the island never crashed in the first place. (This took place in 1977, so yeah, that's mildly possible.)  It appears that this plan worked, as the episode opens with everybody on the plane as it was in Season 1, with a few key differences/clues.  Desmond was there, for some reason.  Also, Hurley appeared to have won the lottery and then continued to have extreme good luck, as opposed to the horrible luck that we knew about in the original "reality".  Also also, Charlie chokes on a bag of heroin and is saved by Jack, and he says "I was supposed to die!" or something along those lines.  Also also also, right after the plane is supposed to crash, the camera cuts away to an underwater scene that appears to be the island concealed underneath the ocean.  This is more significant than most would think, in my opinion.  I'm going to neglect the weird stuff that happened during the normal timeline of the show, for now (aside from mentioning my own theory that zombie Sayid is actually a reincarnation of Jacob).

So the most pressing question of the show right now appears to be "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?"  as it has tended to be since the first episode.  How can the plane crash survivors exist in a past where they don't even crash with no knowledge of the event of the past five seasons and a present on the island?  The most popular theory is that the H-bomb created an alternate reality for the survivors.  But the creators of the show have dismissed that theory so much that I am really hesitant to believe that it's true.

Thus, I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Why can't it be one of the most heavily relied-upon plot devices in the Lost arsenal?  Having this event be a flashback doesn't seem to make sense, so let's assume that it's a flashforward (which is a terrible show).  Juliet told Miles, "It worked," which I'm assuming is referencing Jack's plan of preventing the plane from crashing.  One sloppy theory would be that because she's dead, she became clairvoyant and saw that they are able to fix their situation toward the end of the season.  The problem with that is that that is very boring and gives no justification for following the lives of the survivors beyond the moment four minutes into the episode when you realized the plain didn't crash.  So how do we explain that?

I draw my theory from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.  The survivors, somehow, at some point in the upcoming season, travel back in time to the point of the plane crash in order to face their destiny (whatever that may be - possibly taking place on the island?).  The laws of time travel on this show are vague enough to permit that this caused the island to disappear from the face of the earth entirely, and that the everyone on the island (including Desmond!) was brought back to a somewhat altered state of being similar to that of the beginning of the show.  The different state of reality would also explain why Jack's dad and various other characters are on the island - in this new reality, Christian never died, but rather was brought to the island to help Locke turn the wheel, freak out his son, etc.  However, since the survivors were restored to the state of being in Season 1, they would believe that Christian was on the plane, even when in this new reality he never was.  Besides, why else would the show continue following the lives of the survivors even after they got off of the plane?  It seems to fit together somewhat in my head, although I realize this doesn't explain every aspect of the show.

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(AN: post-finale) I initially wanted to post about the finale, but didn't until way late, so instead, this.  I was so incredibly wrong.  On almost all counts.  God damn it, I underestimate the power of Darlton consistently.  I should have had it figured out that Christian was smokey right from the moment we saw that Locke was the man in black.  Sayid isn't Jacob.  No time travel this season.  What's the only way of resolving the series, then?  EVERYBODY IS DEAD!!! (and it's beautiful).  However, within the finale itself I nailed several key plot points.  I guessed that Lapidus was still alive, because let's face it - despite the fact that he doesn't get shit as far as plot or character development goes (he's only there the whole time to fly the Ajira plane and you know it), he's pretty much the MacGuyver of the show.  I guessed that it would end with Jack's eye closing, although I didn't guess that it would be essentially the beginning of the show in reverse (oh god, Vincent made me tear up here).  Also, I jokingly predicted that Hurley should be the new Jacob.  Just imagine my face when that actually happened.  Loved it.

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