Finishing High School, Pt. 1

I once believed that Senioritis was a completely manufactured ailment.  Last night, I didn't even start my homework until approximately 1:00 a.m.  I've discovered the joys of formspring.me and it's kept me up into the wee hours of the morning each night this week.  Needless to say, Senioritis is a completely real and especially dangerous illness.

In completely unrelated news, the primary concern of late has been nonrecognition.  You'll have to understand that I attend a school for academic elite.  For many, this is a source of over-inflated egos.  And with over-inflated egos comes desperation for recognition.  I understand this, and I think that my understanding makes it a little less painful to watch most of my accomplishments in high school (which aren't accomplishments as much as they are things that I worked my ass off to finish) go unrecognized.  I've never gotten recognition for anything until this point so I'm grateful that I'm getting medals and such. Things I've gotten in the past month: $30 from the regional chapter of the American Chemical Society from placing in the top 16 on the Competitive Exam in Southwest Michigan (I could have done better last year and gotten more money, but oh well) and a Merck Index; all the things I mentioned for band, a medal (and $12,000) from the National Merit Scholarship, some "platinum" cord for maintaining a GPA of 4.0+ through high school.  These will be followed by a gigantic medal from KAMSC and a diploma from PC, and hopefully I'll get my eagle before I turn 18.  Needless to say, I'm incredibly happy with my current circumstances, academically. Especially since I have about four days of school left. 

There are some people, though, who can't handle the feelings of inadequacy that plague everyone who's ever attended a KAMSC awards ceremony.  Or really any awards ceremony for that matter.  I know people who skipped KAMSC's awards ceremony because they were afraid of being humiliated (even though they ended up winning considerably more than most).  I know another person who ripped up another senior's expensive research project board out of anger that the student won a ton of awards.  And on a more personal level, I felt ripped off at PC's thing, since I know I can kick the shit out of anyone who won a science award (they exclude KAMSC people from these), and they basically skipped over the National Merit Scholarship, the only thing I was really "recognized" for.  So even I'm the victim of ego inflation.  Damn.

If humility is a virtue, then we are all terrible people, redeemed only by the fact that almost everybody actually deserves to be recognized if they worked hard in high school, rather than just float on a cloud of natural intelligence - basically, what I did this last year.  I really do think, though, that the very-smart-but-not-top-tier students should get recognized more, because everybody wants recognition.  When you're excluded from normal school for being too smart and from awesome school for not being smart enough, it can damage your self-esteem a bit.  For obvious reasons, more on this topic will come after graduation.