Inactivity = Inactivity. Or: Bitterness

Confrontation.  Reconciliation.  Agitation.  Aggravation.

Life is like a down escalator that you're trying to run up.  And the escalator is crammed with people.

Let's face it: every time that we think that things might be settling down (especially when we want it to), the harsh mistress of Life decides to throw us some fastballs.  So first, let me explain the situation that went down after the fateful "Two Weeks", while trying to remain objective.  As I had I suspected, I was being misled; just not by the person I had initially - worriedly - suspected.  This came about as I confronted Red Shirt's ex - if only for sole purpose of figuring out who was telling the truth - and in turn, revealed that I had been wrongly  suspicious of her.  That didn't go over so well.  Murphy's Law came into effect, and I feared the unnecessary loss of two friendships at the same time.  After a brief period of profuse lying and incredibly needed repentance, things have appeared to work themselves out.  The pain of potentially losing one of your closest friends - abruptly - is something I'd not experienced, and to which I did not react well.  For example, I kicked a door frame in a fit of frustration in the wee hours of the morning - now I think I have actually legitimately injured my foot.  For the sake of keeping record of the many life lessons that have been thrown at me lately, I'd say that you only truly know how much you love something until it's gone.  Fucking Cinderella.

That morbid shit belongs on LJ.  Now I'm going to talk about some other inane shit that happened in my recent history.  I continued my KH spree - now, I've beaten/replayed every game in the series, with the exception of Chain of Memories, for which I'm going to find the 3D grafficks'd version on the PS2.  I finished reading "Everything is Illuminated" by Jonathan Safran Foer, which was quite good.  Perhaps a review post is called for?  I gave my IB French HL Oral Exam, which basically consisted of talking about kids without jobs for a few minutes and then delving into topics in which I have no interest.  That went fairly well.  I watched the Academy Awards and predicted the winners of all the major categories pretty accurately, although I was definitely hoping for an upset by Inglourious Basterds.  Unfortunately, that didn't happen - but with the Hurt Locker being the lowest-grossing Best Picture winner, indie film is likely going to get a boost (and I assure you that that is already happening aplenty, thanks to Netflix).   Also, Ben Stiller FTW.

However, my musical life has once again sagged even deeper into shit.  As the deadline for joining drum corps again creeps by, I'm being preyed upon to join, which I feel even more inclined to do after losing the job opportunity I had been banking on as a legitimate (and desirable) excuse not to do drum corps.  However, I'm out of money, college is bearing down on me, I have to tie up a bunch of loose ends with high school and college, and, most importantly, Winter Legends is... sucking.  I was initially not even going to do it out of fear that this year would be a repeat of the season previous, but I eventually gave into my obligations.  And now, I'm looking at something even worse.  The music, while superior to previous years, is being played by people who, quite simply, do not care.  It sounds bad.  Rehearsals are not fun.  Nobody practices.  New members don't like it.  Old members like me?  I guess we just don't recognize the fact that something that was once great is no longer great.

One of my greatest concerns coming into this season was that it would be identical to the last, so I was incredibly wary of joining and asked my instructors about the future they had in store for more.  When I expressed my distaste for last season (distaste is an understatement) - specifically using the phrase "Afterward, I was ashamed to be on stage..." - I was told, quite bluntly and honestly, that I do not think that.  The truth is, I do.  (Who tells people things like that, anyway?)  And the fact that I am currently prepared to experience that again is the worst thing in the world to me.  I am exasperated.  That's really probably the main reason I'm avoiding being recruited for another summer.

But life goes on.  I promise this will stop turning into a whine-fest.